Mentoring vs. Coaching: The Label is Irrelevant
Coaching is an entirely unregulated industry. There’s no single central board or governing body. There’s no “higher power” you can go to for someone’s coaching license to get revoked if they wind up causing some kind of harm in your life. You can take a weekend course and call yourself a coach or you can take no course at all and call yourself a coach. That’s not shade, it’s just facts.
And while there are plenty of brilliant, thoughtful, ethical coaches out there doing meaningful work, the reality is: “coach” as a title doesn’t guarantee anything. It doesn’t guarantee skill. It doesn’t guarantee safety. It doesn’t even guarantee experience. I’ve seen coaching get twisted in all kinds of ways: selling you an AMAZING COURSE to GUARANTEE YOUR HIGHEST POTENTIAL, and that’s not what I believe it should be about.
So I use the term mentoring to cut through what it is I actually want to see and feel. I want relationships grounded in experience and 1:1 relationships over seminars. I’m more interested in working with people who want someone who’s walked a version of your path and reaches back to say, “Let me help.” My style is rooted in lived experience, mutual respect, and a genuine desire to help someone grow.
The way I mentor is by figuring out who you are: not just your goals, but your context. I want to know your hesitations, your wild career pivots, your hopes and dreams. I want to invest the time in you because I believe in your potential.
Realistically, the label between “coach” and “mentor” matters way less than the relationship. The vibe you have with the person you’re working with is the best predictor of success, regardless of their “official title”.
What ACTUALLY is whether you feel seen and heard. What matters is whether you feel safe. Whether you can show up fully and say the messy thing, the scared thing, the “I have no idea what I’m doing” thing—and trust that you’ll be met with curiosity, not judgment.
When I think back on the biggest turning points in my own life, they didn’t come from someone who shrugged me off and kindasorta had ideas about who I was and gave me some kind of random, trite, ultimately useless advice. They came from the women who respected me enough and knew me well enough to sit me down, looked me dead in the eye, and said:
“I see something in you. You need to start seeing it in yourself. And you need to get out of your own damn way.”
Those moments were so damn real, and so unforgettable. I still have a friend’s voice in my head, telling me to “cut my bullshit” when I start to argue with myself on decisions I’m making.
That’s MEANINGFUL. That’s the kind of work I want to scale. That’s what The Threadsmith Group is about.
I’m not here to be your guru (shiver). I’m not here to be some influencer (ick). I’m interested in knowing people 1:1, supporting them in the season they need, and cheering them on when they find success and grow out of needing me by their side. 💜
So if you’re out here trying to figure out whether you need a coach or a mentor, let me offer a better question:
Does this person make me feel more like myself?
Not more “optimized.” Not more palatable. Not more brandable. More you.
If the answer is yes, then that’s the person worth listening to, no matter what they call themselves.
And if you’re that person for someone else?
Don’t wait to be “certified.” Just show up. Be honest. Be kind. Be real. Look them in the eyes and tell them to cut their bullshit.
That’s where the actual magic happens.